


Bread Crumbs

by mendeshoney



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 19:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21214112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mendeshoney/pseuds/mendeshoney
Summary: The bread crumbs are all he has left.





	Bread Crumbs

**Author's Note:**

> This is angsty and VERY short but I was going through something at the time and I had to let my feels out.

Forty seven bobby pins, three scrunchies, seven hair ties, four travel bottles of your favorite shampoo and conditioner, a shirt, a pair of socks, a Baby Lips chapstick, Nalgene water bottle, and polaroid photo.

He’s got them all in a box, tucked away in his closet, far away enough that he can’t see them or think about them. He knows he should throw them away, knows for a fact that if Nolan found those things he’d throw them all away before Travis could even say “wait,” which is exactly why they’re out of sight.

They’re the last things he has that are yours, that remind him of you, and he’s not ready to let them go.

He’s not ready to let you go.

He wishes he could go back to that day, back to that car and stop himself from saying those things. Wishes he could take back every word he yelled, every angry text, wishes he could have suffocated the fire that grew in him as the arguments escalated. 

There were words you just didn’t say to the people you loved, and he had said them all. He had said them all and even more and he hated himself for feeling vindicated when his words made you angry, made you sad, made you cry.

He felt like a monster. Who likes seeing the person they love in pain? Who likes causing the person they love pain? Travis, apparently. And it was eating him up inside.

At the time, he felt like it was justified. He was down about the shitty way his season ended, and all he wanted was to be with you, you who seemed to be the only thing in his life that allowed him to feel like the universe was working in his favor. But he wasn’t getting his way, and it was pissing him off. All of his pent up feelings and anger built up until the pressure became too much and he exploded.

To start, you were graduating from college, occupied with finals and trying to make it to the end. You had a limited number of tickets, and instead of inviting Travis, your loving boyfriend of three years, you invited your family. Which. Sure, family comes first, but Travis felt ignored. 

The second thing was that he knew you were trying to find a job that, if the circumstances called for it, may take you out of Philadelphia when all he wanted was for you to stay with him. He supported you and your education and he wanted to be there for you, wanted to celebrate you getting a job, but wasn’t sure he could do so if it took you from him, from the small life the two of you had started to build together. 

On top of that, he had re-signed with Philadelphia because he figured it was a way to show you that he committed to you and your life you had built, and he was starting to feel like it was all for nothing.

And then there were smaller, little, insignificant things that just got him annoyed. You had lived in New York your whole life, so you never learned to drive. You were used to public transportation and got around with cabs and busses just fine, but it was annoying when Travis got so exhausted sometimes he could barely keep his foot down on the pedal and you couldn’t help him. Or if you went on little road trips, vacations, that you couldn’t get behind the wheel.

Then there were the times he felt like you were ungrateful, disrespectful, and rude to him. Times he felt like you didn’t appreciate him or the things he did for you and felt like everyone was right, that you took advantage of him and he let you get away with it.

All of these things were things that he threw in your face. Things you apologized for but Travis never believed you were really sorry about. He didn’t listen. Once the words came tumbling out of his mouth it was like the floodgates had opened. He kept going.

You fought for what felt like weeks when it was over the span of a few days. Travis didn’t let up. All that volatile energy he usually saves for the ice was coming out, and it was directed right at you. And no matter how many times you tried to apologize, to reassure him that you loved him and cared and put your relationship first, he didn’t listen. He shut you down. He yelled at you. He made you feel small, weak.

He made you feel like a burden. And it hurt. Never in the three years you two were together did you fight like this, and never had he treated you this way, but it was all coming out and you didn’t know what to do, what to say to make it better, what to think.

So you told him it was over.

Travis was shocked. He didn’t think that his anger would lead to the end of you both. Didn’t think of the consequences of what would happen if he pushed and pushed and pushed and you just…stop pushing back.

“Toxic,” is what you said. The things he said to you, the way he was making you feel, the way your relationship had turned out. It was all toxic. It was poisonous and you needed to heal, to move on.

So you did.

You packed your things in a hurry, called an Uber, left, and never looked back.

It had been three months.

He knew from Ryanne that after your graduation, you had moved out of Pennsylvania, that you had a job and you were living on your own. Travis got the message loud and clear - you were done with him, and it was all his fault.

Now all he had left from you were bread crumbs. Small things he’d managed to find after losing you that led him back to the memory of you and the love you had, the love he threw away.

Forty seven bobby pins, most of them he knew were probably from that updo Ryanne had your hair put in for the Giroux wedding, since you were one of her bridesmaids.

Three scrunchies, colored orange, black, and white. You wore them to games, securing your long hair into a ponytail so you could jump around and cheer for him without a care in the world.

Seven hair ties, left over from a packet of hair ties Travis had bought you so you always had a spare incase the ones on your wrist broke on you out of nowhere.

Four travel bottles of your favorite shampoo and conditioner, from the last vacation you had taken together to Turks and Caicos, bottles you had stored in his toiletry bag because yours was too full.

A shirt from your college, that was soft and worn, a shirt that Travis would sometimes wear himself, so that when you put it on, it smelt like him.

A pair of socks, fuzzy ones he’d gotten so your feet stayed warm in the winter.

A Baby Lips chapstick that was your favorite, but you always managed to lose.

Your Nalgene water bottle, littered with stickers and the writing on the bottle scratched and faded away. You brought this water bottle with you everywhere, and Travis wondered if you’d replaced it by now, or if you’d missed it at all.

And polaroid photo. From the night Travis first said ‘I love you.’ Travis was smiling at the camera, and you were smiling at him, your eyes full of love and adoration and bliss.

Eyes he’d never see again.


End file.
